Technology is amazing these days! I'm not even born and they have pictures of me. Can't a guy catch a break? Parents these days, they're always in such a hurry. They've gotta learn how to kick back and relax.

Take it from me, I do this water bed thing 24/7. I have room service, and I swear it's like the food is piped right in. But get this, the best thing, is I don't even have to flush the toilet. I've got this maid that does everything for me.

The management says I have to leave after three more months, but I'm not so sure about that. I like it here, and the outside world...well it seems kind of scary. Just the other day there was this car accident; nobody was hurt, but everyone was really worried. I could really tell that everyone was especially worried about me. I'm OK, but I'm not sure if I wanna come out.

I'm thinking that with all this technology that they have these days, I could just set up shop here. You've heard of telecommuting, well I'm thinking about teleliving. Who knows, I might even start a whole new trend like all those "Baby-on-Board" signs in the late 80s.

Yeah, I know it's a little before my time, but there's this weird guy "in the outside world" that talks about stuff like that. I'm not sure who he is, but he always seems to be around. I keep preying that I'm not related to him.

Well, it was nice chatting with you, but I'm kind of tired. I think I'm gonna head back to my water bed now.